There are a lot of things in this world that are double-edged swords; good on one side . . . worse than awful on the other. Take television, for instance. There are some really good shows that can be either entertaining or educational or both . . . and then there’s all the trash that I’m not gonna call by name because one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and I don’t wanna get yelled at. There’s the snow that’s allegedly coming our way next week. Every young child (and young at heart adult) will make snow cream and freeze their fingers off playing in the fluffy white stuff. But then there’s that driving to work thing and no bread or milk in the stores and salt all over your vehicles, just to mention a few downsides.
And then there’s Facebook.
I don’t do a lot of posting on social media (which for me means Facebook since I’m not on anything else), mainly because I’m a fairly private person. Oh, if I find a snake on the window trim in the kitchen, I’ll probably mention that. Or a possum waiting for me when I pull in the drive (along with our three dogs and multitude of cats). Or the albino deer in the field. Or what I believe with all my heart was a mountain lion sitting in our sage grass (before you scoff, I have a picture . . .). Unfortunately, there are also days when all I can do is shake my head at some of the information making its way to the Book of Face.
But you know, there are also some pretty inspirational stories that show up. I have two Facebook friends in particular who are constantly amazing me with their ability to adapt and survive. Both of them are now living without their spouses, and that circumstance has necessitated a whole new mindset on their parts.
One of them consistently consults YouTube in order to tackle a job she’s never tackled before, like dismantling her glove compartment to retrieve an important piece of paper it had eaten. She’s also learned to travel alone, navigating flight schedules and foreign lands . . . and she recently purchased a home. All. By. Herself. She’s also the one who posted the Rachel Marie Martin quote “Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.”
Then there’s that friend whose posts are almost always encouraging, informative, or just downright funny—but recently she posted a picture of a box. A box holding a brand new kitchen faucet. It was her first ever plumbing job and she promised to keep us updated. And update she did with a before picture of her sadly-in-need-of-replacement faucet and her after picture of the spiffy new one, installed and ready to go. The caption? “We can do it ladies!!” She’s also the friend who posted lines from a Vern Gosdin song right before the start of the holiday season. “You don’t know about sadness, till you’ve faced life alone. You don’t know about lonely, till it’s chiseled in stone.”
I know they’re only two of many . . . thousands actually. Thousands and thousands of women who every single day must embark upon a whole new, unwelcomed life when for whatever reason, they find themselves alone. Their can-do attitude and positive approach are inspiring to me, mainly because even though they may have their doubts, they forge ahead, tackling Life and all those chores once handled by their spouses. But while they are working hard to adapt and survive, they are also grieving—a journey they have chosen to share with us. That’s a blessing for those who may someday find themselves on the same path. And if we pay attention . . . and we learn from their efforts . . . their journey can also be our road map.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
