It was Christmas Eve, and I was doing what I do every Christmas Eve—sitting in the middle of the den floor, surrounded by rolls and rolls of wrapping paper, yards and yards of ribbon, and every naked gift that had yet to be clothed in brightly colored attire. And tape. Lots and lots of tape.
It happens every year, even though I vow in the wee hours of each Christmas morning never to wait until the last minute again. Yet the gifts arrive later than expected, the days and nights get filled with all the activities of the season . . . and here we are once more.
My company was the television, set to channel 104 where they were running an NCIS marathon. Granted, that doesn’t sound much like Christmas fare, but I’m an NCIS fan (although I do miss Gibbs) so I was content with the background noise it provided. The episode “Head Games” was on (one I hadn’t seen before) and the subplot of the day was Kasie’s test for the gene linked to the development of Alzheimer’s. In her anticipation/anxiety over the pending results, she began frantically attempting to complete every item on her “Dream Docket”—AKA, her bucket list. Toward the end of the show, she went to Director Leon Vance’s office to share some relevant findings on the current case and while there, took the opportunity to have the following conversation:
Kasie: Uh, I apologize for asking but I heard that you dealt with a pretty major health scare not too long ago. Totally understand if you don’t want to talk about it.
Vance: My doctors thought I had lymphoma. Thankfully, it turned out to be something that was benign.
Kasie: But you didn’t know that right away?
Vance: No, I most surely did not.
Kasie: How did you handle it? Waiting for your results, not knowing whether your entire life was about to change?
Vance: Well, um . . . it wasn’t my finest moment. I couldn’t stop imagining all the things in life that . . . I might miss out on. Walking my daughter down the aisle. Holding my first grandchild.
Kasie: You must have been pretty relieved when you got your results.
Vance: Actually, I . . . I was able to find peace even before then. I realized that, cancer or not, my future wasn’t a given. You never know what’s waiting for you down the road. Ever.
Kasie: No disrespect, but that sounds like the tagline for a horror movie poster.
Vance: Or the greatest love story of all time. You just never know. So, I just decided I was gonna live every day like it’s my last. That way, I’ll never be disappointed.
As the show draws to a close (once they’ve solved the case), Kasie’s test results arrive by email . . . an email she deletes unopened. This unexpected action prompts Dr. Jimmy Palmer to observe “Now you won’t know if you have the gene” to which she responds, “If knowing changes the way I live my life, I’m living it wrong.”
Fortunately, most of us are blissfully unaware of any expiration date that may be attached to our lives. Unfortunately, most of us seem to think we will live forever . . . or at least long enough to reach a point where we can focus on the things we truly want to do. The things that make up our Dream Docket. We set them aside, believing what we perceive to be the obligations of Life must always come first. (Notice how I italicized the word “perceive” for emphasis . . .) But who says dreams and obligations can’t coexist?
‘Tis the season of resolutions. More exercise. Less junk food. More saving. Less buying. We’re gonna clean out the closets, the attic, and the garage. We’re gonna make the positive changes we believe our lives demand. As you ponder the paths you wish to travel in the coming year, may I make a suggestion? In the words of some wise television writer, as spoken by Leon Vance, Director of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, we never know what’s waiting for us down the road. So perhaps we should just live every day as though it was our last. Don’t wait until the new year . . . or retirement . . . or the advent of some dread disease to pursue your dreams or even to just do the things that make you happy. Don’t wait until the time is “right”—because that time may never come.
May our resolution this year be to use every day wisely . . . not to waste a single one. Live life to the fullest—and the rest will follow.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
