The funeral staff (of which I was one) and the grave crew stood patiently waiting as the mourners slowly drifted from the cemetery. It had been a well-attended service, in part because of the circumstances surrounding the deaths, and some time passed before most everyone had moved to their cars and left for home . . . or an early supper . . . or the meal prepared for the family. Most everyone, except for one young man and his family. That young man was a brother to one of those whose service we had just held, and out of respect for him . . . and for them . . . we continued waiting—waiting for a sign that said it was all right to begin filling the graves.
As we sat, quietly watching, he walked to the first grave. After a moment, he bent down and gathered a handful of dirt from the mound beside it. Then very gently he sprinkled it into the grave, the small pebbles making their presence known as they hit the top of the casket. Slowly he moved to the next grave, bent down to gather another handful of dirt, and once again sprinkled it into the grave. It was a process he would repeat four times before pausing beside the last one, looking only at what was before him, oblivious to all else. Then he turned and he and his family left the cemetery. Left us to do our work. Left behind the mortal remains of four people he loved.
It was an act steeped in the traditions of centuries past, rooted in cultures and religions from around the world. But on this day, in that moment, it was a personal act filled with meaning. A sign of respect for those he’d lost. A way to bid them a final farewell. An acknowledgement that we will all return to the earth from which we came.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. His act that afternoon symbolized a rite of passage. A rite that was both solemn and beautiful.
About the author: Lisa Shackelford Thomas is a fourth-generation member of a family that’s been in funeral service since 1926 and has worked with Shackelford Funeral Directors in Savannah, Tennessee for over 45 years. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other Shackelford family members or staff.
