logo-image

The Perfect Moment

Lisa Thomas • February 1, 2018

I saw a meme once that said their mind was like someone emptied the kitchen junk drawer onto a trampoline and, right now, I get that.  It has been an extremely stressful month filled with too much pain, far too much loss, and enough disappointment to deter even the most optimistic person from getting out of bed.

This Sunday looked like it was pretty much gonna ice the cake—or break the camel’s back.  Feel free to insert any appropriate old saying or cliché of your choosing.  The last service of the day was scheduled to begin at 3:00, but car trouble on a family member’s part delayed things until well after 4:30.  We knew the sun would be setting soon, and the dark is not your friend when trying to fill a sizable hole on a hillside.  I worried about the grave crew and what would be required of them, but we all understood the situation wasn’t really under any earthly being’s control, so we tried not to tie ourselves in a knot.  Knot tying doesn’t help anyone (unless possibly while camping or on a boat), least of all the folks who were able to make it to the service on time and were now called upon to patiently wait.

As I had predicted, we left the building just before dusk.  Fortunately, the cemetery wasn’t too far away.  Unfortunately, it was still far enough that the sun was well on its way to setting when we arrived and parked.  Normally, I wouldn’t be standing in a cold, dark cemetery, but I was charged with making pictures for family members who lived too far away to attend.  So, there I was, shivering so that I was certain the pictures would be a total blur.  I had not come prepared for cold.  It wasn’t cold when I left the house, therefore, it should not be cold now.  But it was and my sweater didn’t feel nearly as thick as it had earlier in the day.

The minister read a scripture and another minister said a prayer.  Then one of them spoke briefly with the funeral director and the funeral director spoke briefly with a member of the grave crew.  Together, our two employees removed the boards that supported the casket and set the lowering device in motion.  As the casket slowly began its descent, those who had made the trip to the cemetery began to sing, ever so softly, Shall We Gather at the River.  I looked up . . . just in time to see the sun setting the sky aglow as it sank behind the trees.  I was the only one there who had that vantage point, the only one there who could see the beauty of the moment, and as I stood watching the casket move almost imperceptibly into its final resting place, accompanied by the strains of an old and well-worn hymn with the sun casting its last, fading light through the trees—I felt it.  That perfect moment.  That perfect calm.  That perfect peace.  The chaos of the world had retreated, banished by the love and faith that surrounded that grave.

By Lisa Thomas February 20, 2025
Although every arrangement conference is different, any that involve planning some type of service share a few things in common, such as deciding who will speak, and when and where the service will be held. And at some point in all this planning, the funeral director will ask “Have you thought about music?”
By Lisa Thomas February 13, 2025
It was the spring of 1991 when I was first required to walk through the doors of Henderson Office Supply on Main Street in Henderson, Tennessee. The business was owned by the Casey family—the same Casey family who owned Casey Funeral Home—the same Casey family from whom we had just purchased both.
By Lisa Thomas February 6, 2025
It was December 14, 1799, and George Washington, first president of the United States, lay on his deathbed, the result of male obstinance, a sudden change in the weather, a desire to be prompt which led to dinner in soggy clothes, and medical practices of the day that were useless in the face of whatever illness was attacking his body. Actually, just useless in general.
By Lisa Thomas January 30, 2025
Pia Farrenkopf was a loner, a smart, driven woman of German descent who would be gone for weeks at a time, if not for work, then for the sheer pleasure of exploring the world. Her family grew to expect unanswered phone calls and random postcards from faraway places.
By Lisa Thomas January 23, 2025
Whenever a death occurs there’s always a cleaning out that follows. It may be a house or apartment, a hospital or nursing home room—maybe even just a closet and a drawer—but somewhere the items that represent that person’s life are tucked safely away, waiting for the day when they will pass to the next generation . . . or Goodwill, whichever is deemed appropriate.
By Lisa Thomas January 15, 2025
I find myself sitting in Panera, eating an Apple Chicken Salad and reading “The 7 ½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle”, a Christmas present from my daughter and her family. Only this Panera is located in Vanderbilt Medical Center. Soon I will return to the darkness of Room 7 in the ICU and wait.
By Lisa Thomas January 9, 2025
We were just wrapping up a celebratory family meal (please don’t ask which one; I haven’t the foggiest notion, given the time of year and the prevalence of celebratory meals), when my 15-year-old grandson Wilson stretched his lanky frame in the manner that indicates a satisfaction with the food and a fullness from overindulging, and asked “Mona, (that’s what all the grandchildren call me . . . because my first name is Lisa . . . so, Mona Lisa . . .) “when do I get a copy of the Thomas Cookbook?”
By Lisa Thomas December 27, 2024
As I sit writing this, it is Christmas night—that time when the world grows still and quiet as the celebrations of the day fade into memories.
By Lisa Thomas December 18, 2024
‘Tis the season to be jolly . . . unless it isn’t. Unless it isn’t because Grief has recently come to call and seems quite content to stay, at least for the foreseeable future.
By Lisa Thomas December 12, 2024
I made a pretty big mistake this year. Actually, truth be known, I made a lot of mistakes this year. But this particular one was a doozie.
More Posts
Share by: