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No Words

Shackelford Funeral Directors • January 7, 2016

The card was addressed to those left behind, signed by someone who cared. The message was simple and yet filled with meaning.

“For once – no words.”

In that brief statement was the summation of all that had transpired. Nothing could describe the emptiness, nothing could ease the pain, nothing could ever be the same. And this one soul understood that.

When Death comes there are no words to offer. Comfort cannot be found in them, an explanation of why it must be cannot come from them. A simple, “I’m sorry” best serves the occasion, and even then the question may arise, “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do it.” I have actually been confronted with such a statement before and my response came quickly. No, I didn’t do it. No, I am not responsible. But I can still wish you did not have to endure the pain. I can wish you did not have to bear the loss. I can be sorry that you must suffer.

When Death comes and you are called upon to visit and to comfort, do not search for the “right” words or the “words of wisdom”. Death does not allow for such and explanations will be neither accepted nor appreciated. Hold those who are grieving close, let them cry and cry with them if you feel the need, share a memory of the one who has died if you have memories to share, but above all else remember—there are times when there are no words. When that time comes, let your presence speak for you.

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