logo-image

Pat and Becky

Lisa Thomas • July 20, 2017

Every once in a while, I venture down to Florence, Alabama, and when I go I always pass the house that once belonged to Arthur Patrick and Rebecca O’Kelly Rogers, my great uncle and aunt on my mother’s side.  It was a small, white frame house, surrounded by the fields that Uncle Pat farmed for years, neatly maintained by Aunt Becky and always welcoming.  As a child I made the trip with a great deal more frequency since the only place my mother could find clothes to fit my toothpick-sized brother was Rogers Department Store in Florence.  If we behaved (which you know we always did . . .), there was a trip to the soda fountain at Woolworth’s afterwards.  That’s where I developed my life-long love of vanilla sodas.  But I digress, as I so often do.

If summer was drawing to an end and school clothes were required, we would return to Savannah with a trunk full of watermelons, graciously loaded by Uncle Pat from the ginormous pile that rested beneath the oak in their front yard.  Aunt Becky would always invite us in, always offer her hospitality, and always seem genuinely happy to see us.  She was slight of frame with her graying hair pulled back in a bun, a direct contrast to my uncle who seemed to tower over me.  They were good, hard-working country people who spent a lifetime in the same place and never strayed far from each other.  Times had not always been easy and they had borne more than their share of heartache with the loss of four of their grandchildren to a house fire in September of 1941.  Three of them died as a direct result of the fire.  Their daughter was pregnant with the fourth and lost him as a result of the trauma.  Although Myrtle and her husband went on to have another son and three more daughters, I knew the loss of her first family had to weigh heavily on them, and there would always be reminders of the children and their fate, but Pat and Becky never allowed their pain or their grief to make them angry or bitter.  If anything, I think it must have made them kinder . . . gentler . . . and closer than they already were.

They had been married almost 71 years when Aunt Becky died on November 10, 1986; Uncle Pat grieved himself to death, following her on January 3, 1987.  I remember him leaving the cemetery after her body was committed to the earth, a daughter to each side, wiping his eyes with his handkerchief as he crossed the grounds.  I knew then it would only be a short time before he joined her.  They had never been apart for very long.

Every time I drove to Florence, I passed the road to Macedonia Cemetery, and every time I told myself I was going to turn right.  A little over a month ago I finally did.  It was a winding country road that led to another winding country road—but fortunately for my directionally challenged self, there were signs pointing to the church that sat next to the cemetery.  It took a bit of searching but I finally found their resting place, marked by a monument of pink granite.  Standing there, I read their names and dates of birth and death—and marveled at what I knew lay beneath my feet and how strongly I felt their presence.  They were a part of my history, a history I didn’t fully appreciate until long after they were gone.  Whenever I would take the kids to Florence, I would note the church where their funerals were held.   I would always call attention to the little, white frame house and tell them of their great-great aunt and uncle.  It may be my history, but it is theirs, too.  And I wanted them to know that history.

As I stood in the cemetery that day I was humbled by the people they had been and the life they had lived, and saddened because I wanted to know so much more.  The years melted away, and at that moment, more than anything else, I wanted to spend time with them again—time to listen . . . time to learn . . . time to understand and appreciate the value of their presence in my life.

 

 

By Lisa Thomas February 20, 2025
Although every arrangement conference is different, any that involve planning some type of service share a few things in common, such as deciding who will speak, and when and where the service will be held. And at some point in all this planning, the funeral director will ask “Have you thought about music?”
By Lisa Thomas February 13, 2025
It was the spring of 1991 when I was first required to walk through the doors of Henderson Office Supply on Main Street in Henderson, Tennessee. The business was owned by the Casey family—the same Casey family who owned Casey Funeral Home—the same Casey family from whom we had just purchased both.
By Lisa Thomas February 6, 2025
It was December 14, 1799, and George Washington, first president of the United States, lay on his deathbed, the result of male obstinance, a sudden change in the weather, a desire to be prompt which led to dinner in soggy clothes, and medical practices of the day that were useless in the face of whatever illness was attacking his body. Actually, just useless in general.
By Lisa Thomas January 30, 2025
Pia Farrenkopf was a loner, a smart, driven woman of German descent who would be gone for weeks at a time, if not for work, then for the sheer pleasure of exploring the world. Her family grew to expect unanswered phone calls and random postcards from faraway places.
By Lisa Thomas January 23, 2025
Whenever a death occurs there’s always a cleaning out that follows. It may be a house or apartment, a hospital or nursing home room—maybe even just a closet and a drawer—but somewhere the items that represent that person’s life are tucked safely away, waiting for the day when they will pass to the next generation . . . or Goodwill, whichever is deemed appropriate.
By Lisa Thomas January 15, 2025
I find myself sitting in Panera, eating an Apple Chicken Salad and reading “The 7 ½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle”, a Christmas present from my daughter and her family. Only this Panera is located in Vanderbilt Medical Center. Soon I will return to the darkness of Room 7 in the ICU and wait.
By Lisa Thomas January 9, 2025
We were just wrapping up a celebratory family meal (please don’t ask which one; I haven’t the foggiest notion, given the time of year and the prevalence of celebratory meals), when my 15-year-old grandson Wilson stretched his lanky frame in the manner that indicates a satisfaction with the food and a fullness from overindulging, and asked “Mona, (that’s what all the grandchildren call me . . . because my first name is Lisa . . . so, Mona Lisa . . .) “when do I get a copy of the Thomas Cookbook?”
By Lisa Thomas December 27, 2024
As I sit writing this, it is Christmas night—that time when the world grows still and quiet as the celebrations of the day fade into memories.
By Lisa Thomas December 18, 2024
‘Tis the season to be jolly . . . unless it isn’t. Unless it isn’t because Grief has recently come to call and seems quite content to stay, at least for the foreseeable future.
By Lisa Thomas December 12, 2024
I made a pretty big mistake this year. Actually, truth be known, I made a lot of mistakes this year. But this particular one was a doozie.
More Posts
Share by: