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Life Lessons Learned From Death

Shackelford Funeral Directors • July 1, 2015

You might not think that working with death can teach you about life but the truth of the matter is there are some very valuable life lessons to be found on the other side of the grave.  And just in case you doubt that to be true, please allow me to pontificate.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

On the business level of our trade, you just understand that delaying can be disastrous.  One minute you may be quietly twiddling your thumbs and the next doing your best chicken-with-its-head-cut-off impersonation.  Just because you go home at 5:00 with a free day tomorrow does not mean you will wake up to the same set of circumstances.  But on a more personal note, there are so many things over which we procrastinate that will never get done—and I’m not talking about the daily chores of life or that magnificent trip around the world we intend to embark upon someday.  I’m referring to that plate of cookies you keep meaning to take to the newly widowed neighbor down the street or the hike through the woods with the kids or learning that new language you’ve always wanted to speak.  There are tiny little dreams and goals that we tend to push aside, thinking there will be time tomorrow . . . or next year . . . or when I retire.  But the day never comes and we leave this earth with all the good intentions and none of the accomplishments.

Take time to be kind.

You will never regret the time taken for an act of kindness, but you will always regret those kindnesses left undone.  ‘Nuff said.

Hold your friends close, but your family closer.

A good friend is a treasure, worth more than all the gold in this world, and should always be treated with the love and respect the relationship deserves.  Unfortunately, we don’t always extend the same courtesy to our family members.  Those folks with whom we share DNA are often on the receiving end of our worst moods, angry words, and unrealistic expectations.  They should be our ultimate support group, those on whom we can count when everyone else flees the scene of our crimes; instead, our words and deeds end up pushing them away.  And that is never more evident—or sadder—than when a family comes to make funeral arrangements and cannot set aside their differences long enough to honor the one who has died.

Never take anyone for granted. 

I’ve said it before (at least a thousand times) and I’ll say it again (at least a thousand more), we are not guaranteed one second on this earth.  To believe that we will have tomorrow to apologize or say “I love you” or perform that good deed is to place our faith in a terribly uncertain future.  Enjoy every minute you have with the people who mean the most to you.  And PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE.  Yes, I just yelled at you.  Immerse yourself in those around you, converse with them, look them in the eyes, discover who they actually are, without a piece of handheld technology in between the two of you.  You may be pleasantly surprised by the experience.

Realize what’s important in life.

This sounds so simple, so obvious, you might think it shouldn’t take death to teach you that, but so often it is only at life’s end—when correcting the mistakes of the past is an opportunity lost—that we come to learn our focus has been all wrong.  It isn’t the job or the money or the house that will keep your memory alive long after you are not.  It’s how you have touched the lives of others.  It’s the little random acts of kindness, the smile in the ‘midst of chaos, the time you took to listen and share in someone’s joy or pain that will make the biggest difference in the world around you.  And if you should happen to read this particular point and realize that maybe you have some room for improvement but you have no idea where or how to start, I would kindly refer you back to lesson number one.

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