When sorrow comes to a family sometimes it may seem as if it draws one another further apart rather than closer together. To outsiders it may appear as if everyone within the family unit is functioning well together when in reality it seems to be utter chaos. Usually these rifts existed before the traumatic loss occurred and the loss just accentuates the separations even further. What is one to do when you realize that it appears that the cohesiveness of the family is not at all what we may have pretended it to be and the walls are tumbling down?
First this is absolutely the worst time it seems to try to correct disunity that perhaps has existed for a long while. We need to be honest with ourselves that these divisions did not develop overnight and they will not be dissolved quickly. During times great hurt and probable confusion when our mind is trying to settle our own feelings about what has happened in our life, it will appear to us that disagreements are much larger than previously thought and our emotions are frazzled and on edge. Thus our judgments, reactions and choices may not be as well thought out as when we are un-frazzled.
Patience is one characteristic we may be in short supply, but this is what is demanded. We need to think twice before we speak. Words cannot be retrieved once delivered, like arrows to the heart. Seek peace and pursue it, (metaphorically earnestly endeavor to acquire) 1 Peter 3:11. This is not easy under the best of circumstances, but it is doable. If a family is to survive, and rebuild their lives anew, which must be done to move forward, then peace must be maintained within the family system.
Seek assistance if necessary where help is available. This is Sunrise.